Blogger Love

So I've been awarded not one but *two* beautiful blogger awards today - how cool is that? Check out what these two gorgeous ladies had to say about li'l ole me!



And now I'm supposed to list 7 random facts about myself before sharing the award with 7 bloggers I consider beautiful, so here goes:

1. I've already blogged this today, but since it's still so fresh in my mind - I caught a baby this morning. My neighbour's domestic helper went into labour 2 weeks early and the emergency services didn't make it in time. You can read about it here if you want to. I briefly thought about becoming a doula early in my last pregnancy, but shelved the idea after a little while because I thought that it would interfere with my obligations to my own family. But this morning's events have made me think that perhaps I should have a serious look at the idea again.
2. I have really, really long toes. My index and middle toes are way longer than my big toes.
3. I love baking but have never baked a chocolate cake because pretty much everyone bakes chocolate cakes when they bake, so I've always stuck to vanilla. When pay day comes around this month, I'm going to break that routine and bake a chocolate cake for the very first time ever.
4. I'm pretty good friends with my husband's ex girlfriend. So is my husband. She is also our children's godmother. A lot of people think this is weird. We don't care and no, I don't think there's anything still going on between her and my husband. That boat has sailed (and sunk) ...
5. I may come across as being rather conservative & boring now that I'm a mommy, but I actually have what could be called a rather colourful past... Truth be told, I prefer being me as I am now. Back then I was a deeply unhappy individual.
6. "PUMP UP THE VOLUME" is one of my all time favourite movies. I sort of adopted it as a kind of personal manifesto back in my angsty teens. Have always had issues with authority and having to conform to others' principles and values. Not necessarily because I didn't agree with their principles and values, but because they presumed to prescribe them to me. Makes my fuckin' blood boil!! See, there I go again! Ok, moving on...
7. I'm thinking I should dye my hair again soon - it's been years! Whadya think - Blond(er)? Brunette? Red?

And here are the seven beautiful bloggers I nominate:
Angel because she rocks and because her cupcakes have been an inspiration.
Jessica because she's lovely. :)
Sharon for being unbelievably kind, generous and supportive despite barely knowing me and for the stunning maternity and newborn photos she took for me.
acidicice for being my belly buddy.
Bananaramagirl because she's such a cool pregnant faerie!
Gina for giving one to me and for being awesome and for the beautiful teacup & saucer I got from her at the January Ladies on Lunch.
Tanya because she's so awesome she could make my daughter sing for her supper!

Mama to Midwife - sort of?

Let me just start off with WOW. I mean, WOW!

I lay in a bit longer than usual this morning and got up feeling rested and ready to take on the day. Probably a good thing because the day took a very interesting turn about an hour ago...

I was just about to call the kids to come upstairs for school when my neighbour came to my front door. I'd been meaning to speak with him for a while, because I happen to know that he's renovating and I was looking to earn a commission on a bamboo flooring job. So I figured he'd somehow heard about my bamboo flooring contact and wanted to speak to me about that.

Great was my surprise when he told me instead that his domestic helper had gone into labour and they needed me to come over and help!!

I threw on a jacket and marched out of the door, asking him whether her water had broken, trying to ascertain how much time I had. He said that they had already called for an ambulance but that there was no way of knowing how long it was going to take.
Just as well, because when I went upstairs to the room where the poor woman was labouring, she was lying on the bed shaking. And through her chattering teeth she told me "I'm cold!"

Things looked very tidy at this point and I thought at first that her water could not have broken as everything around her looked quite dry.

I took her hand and asked her how far along she was in her pregnancy, but all she could tell me was "The baby is coming!"

I asked her to take off her panties so that I could see what was happening, expecting that I would have to examine her internally to see how far her cervix was dilated.
All she could utter was "Wait!" and so I held her hand through the contraction and told her she was going to be okay. The contraction over, I got her to remove her panties and let me take a look.

I was greeted with the sight of her baby's crowning head. There was nothing for it but to stand by and help her deliver that baby. So I talked her through pushing out the head while I supported her perinium. She was a total champ and baby's head was out in just one good push - nice and slow, though, so she didn't tear! Then I encouraged her to give another good push and baby's shoulders were almost all the way out. A second big one and her brand new little girl came sliding out into my hands.

At this point, there were several thoughts swirling around in my head - What if she started bleeding? How's the baby's colour? Is she breathing? Do I need to suction her? With what!!? How much blood has she lost? What am I going to clamp the cord with? What if this baby dies?!!! Should I be worried about HIV?

The baby was covered in vernix and looked quite blueish. But she squealed almost instantly and started sneezing. I wanted to get the new mom, Nomsa, to breastfeed her little one immediately, but she didn't want to. So I wrapped her up in a towel and handed her to her mother with my congratulations. :)

After the cord had stopped pulsing, I asked the neighbour to bring me some string with which to tie it off. She brought me some, but forgot to bring scissors, so I just tied the cord and left it.

A couple of minutes later, I asked her if she felt like there was something else coming out and she said that there was, so I encouraged her to give a small push to get the placenta out, which she did.

Roughly 15 minutes after the baby was out, the paramedics arrived and I handed over to them, giving as much information as I could remember to give. And then I asked Nomsa if I could take a photo of her baby, to which she agreed:



I'm usually fairly calm in a crisis and I generally manage to keep it together enough to act with common sense in an emergency, although I never in my wildest dreams imagined that I would be able to deal with the mess of someone else's birth! But you know, when it came to it, it was simply a matter of getting on with it. There was no-one else around with enough wits about them to know what to do and this poor woman needed help. So I helped. And even though I was shaking like a leaf as that little baby landed in my hands, it felt friggin' awesome!!

In Memory of Julia

If you follow me on Twitter or on Facebook you'll know that I took my brand new baby boy to hospital on Friday afternoon when I found blood in his stool while changing his nappy.

He had a bunch of blood samples drawn and a lumbar puncture, in order to rule out a number of different infections, including meningitis, before being admitted for observation overnight. Thankfully, his test results all came back normal the following morning and he was discharged.

While James was being seen by one of the paediatricians, I was sent out of the room to wait in the corridor, where I met another young mother with a baby girl not much older than my James. Pretty little thing with enormous brown eyes. She had a severe throat infection which was preventing her from feeding at all. Her mother, Jabulile, was clearly distraught and I quickly learned that she had been brought to the hospital from her home in Diepsloot by ambulance. Here, she had been given some Panado to administer to her baby and instructed to come back on Monday, as the hospital did not have the medicines she required in stock. Jabu was there alone, had no money, and no means to get home, so I offered to have my husband give them a lift. This poor woman was so grateful for this small gesture that she actually burst into tears and I stood there wishing we could do more...

Jabu called me yesterday to tell me that her baby girl had died at 10:30 on Saturday. Her name was Julia and this post is so that she will be remembered, along with the many, many blessings we lose sight of every day.

99 Things...

... Some I've done, some I haven't and some I look forward to getting around to someday.

Seen this meme around lately. Here's my list:

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to DisneyWorld
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bunjee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own veggies (If you count the sweet potato plant now growing in my garden)
19. Seen the Mona Lisa at the Louvre
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillowfight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not sick
24. Made a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Ran a marathon
27. Went skinny dipping
28. Rode in a gondola in Venice
29. Witnessed total eclipse
30. Seen a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run (If you count the "baseball" games you play in Phys Ed class in high school)
32. Been on a cruise (A dinner dhow cruise on Dubai Creek)
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace/ home of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish country
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David in person
41. Sung karaoke - I was so bad, the DJ turned up the backing track to drown me out!!
42. Seen Old Faithful erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Taken a ride in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted - Not painted, but sketched.
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower
50. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
51. Kissed in the rain
52. Played in the mud
53. Gone to a drive-in theater
54. Been in a movie
55. Visited the Great Wall of China
56. Started a business
57. Taken a martial arts class
58. Visited Russia
59. Worked at a soup kitchen
60. Sold Girl Scout cookies
61. Gone whale watching
62. Gotten flowers for no reason
63. Donated blood, platelets, or plasma
64. Gone sky diving
65. Visited Nazi concentration camp
66. Bounced a check
67. Flown in a helicopter
68. Saved a childhood toy
69. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
70. Eaten caviar
71. Pieced a quilt
72. Stood in Times Square
73. Toured the Everglades
74. Been fired from a job
75. Seen the changing of the guards in London
76. Broken a bone (More accurately, had it broken for me by my brother)
77. Been a passenger on a motorcycle
78. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
79. Published a book
80. Visited the Vatican
81. Bought a brand new car - New for me, anyway
82. Visited Jerusalem
83. Had your picture in the paper
84. Kissed a stranger at midnight on New Year’s Eve
85. Visited the White House
86. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
87. Had chickenpox
88. Saved someone’s life
89. Sat on a jury
90. Met someone famous
91. Joined a book club
92. Got a tattoo
93. Had a baby - Four of them!
94. Seen the Alamo in person
95. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
96. Been involved in a law suit
97. Owned a cell phone
98. Been stung by a bee
99. Swam in the Black Sea

Momentary Lapse

There are some who would tell you that I suffered from severe postpartum depression with my first two babies. Some might go so far as to say it bordered on postpartum psychosis.

I won't argue that things were not tough back then. With Megan, I was a very young first time mom, paranoid and anxious and unsure of myself.
With Michael, circumstances were such that I had to put up with an enormous amount of interference from various quarters, and I'm not the type of person who takes kindly to people meddling in my life at the best of times... Let me tell you, it is extremely difficult to bond with your new baby when you have someone constantly looking over your shoulder, monitoring the way you interact with your child(ren) and pre-empting your every move with "Don't you think you should do _____________ now?"

There was also the fact that I was still using hormonal contraceptives in the form of the pill at the time,which saw me becoming increasingly unstable and emotionally erratic as the imbalance the hormones caused slowly drove me psychotic. To the point where my husband would come home in the evenings afraid to open the front door for fear of what he might find...

I resigned myself to the fact that I was never going to be more than a barely adequate mother, that I had a great many issues to resolve and that I was going to have to work harder at managing my temper - something I'm still working on today.

But then a few years passed and Jack arrived. And being a little bit older, financially more stable and having worked through at least one or two of my own issues, I enjoyed a healthy pregnancy, a textbook birth and one of the happiest, easiest babies ever. Those of you who've met Jack will know exactly what I mean. And he's still like that now! :)


Despite a difficult pregnancy and a tricky birth, I believe that we are going to enjoy a similar scene with James.

Which is why I found myself caught a little off guard this morning when I woke up feeling depressed and hopeless and ready to succumb to those old feelings of despair.

But the thing is I already know how that movie ends. I've seen it over and over and over. I know every inch of that set, every character's lines verbatim and I'm sick of it. I've been sick of it for years. And if I never watch that movie again, it'll be too soon.

I believe that I have grown as a mother and as an individual since Jack's arrival, discovering a softer side and a quiet place within myself, from which I can draw strength when things begin to overwhelm me and to which I can turn to calm myself in those moments when it seems that my anger is about to bubble over. Most of the time, at least.

So after posting that pathetic little "woe is me" status on Facebook this morning, I had me a long, hot bath and made the voices in my head shut up so I could think. Then I put on my big girl panties and made a phone call or two and got myself some work in.
It's not going to make the difficult situation magically disappear, but it sure as hell is going to make it less difficult than it would otherwise have been. And when that's done, I'll pick up the phone and make another call or two...