Right, so in spite of all the easy blog fodder up for grabs from various quarters of late, I've fallen back into my old ways and haven't been updating nearly as regularly as I should.
I guess it's kind of because I've been waiting for something worth blogging about to happen. Which, considering my current pre-occupation with this baby I'm about to have, pretty much means I've been waiting for labour to happen so that I can blog and tweet about it.
But for all my obsessing and the gazillion false alarms, #babyparkins is still staying put.
So I've decided that, to pass the time, I'm going to copy acidicice's example and run a little competition:
I'm going to give a box of 1 dozen of The Cupcake Lady's delicious cupcakes to the person who correctly (or most closely) predicts when the Last of the Parkins Clan is going to (finally!) grace us with his presence.
(Note: Unfortunately, I can only accommodate entries from people in the Jozi/Midrand/Pretoria area.)
Care to hazard a guess, anyone?
Monday, February 22, 2010
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Little Boy Blue
Laura's latest blog challenge at Female2Female is "Blue".
This is an easy one for me, because I can't wait to see #babyparkins in this Blue Dinosaur Babygro we got from ExMi at the baby shower!
Also, how could I resist bragging with a shot of my boys in blue?
This is an easy one for me, because I can't wait to see #babyparkins in this Blue Dinosaur Babygro we got from ExMi at the baby shower!
Also, how could I resist bragging with a shot of my boys in blue?
Monday, February 08, 2010
Baby Shower Post
I meant to do this post earlier today, but found myself busy doing all sorts of other things instead. On Saturday we had my baby shower. I had decided not to do the traditional women-only affair, and I think it was a huge success.
My mom and gran made a LOT of food, all of which was delicious, and we hired a jumping castle for all the kids and most of the people who'd said they were going to be there were there.
I got spoiled rotten with baby gifts and even a few belated birthday gifts thrown in for good measure! :-)
Angel and Glugster were among the guests at the shower, as were Laura and @Flavid and Laura's kidlets, who seemed to have a good time...
Angel spoiled me with a box of her fabulous cupcakes, which I was rather reluctant to share! But I ended up handing out a few toward the end of the evening as it dawned on me that I could probably not eat the entire box by myself without suffering some serious consequences later....
Take a look at these babies and tell me you don't want to lick your computer screen!!
I also got this awesome gift from a group of online friends - what a wonderful surprise! Thank you, Angel, Sally-Jane, Laura and Wenchy! You guys seriously rock!
And here's a shot or two of the full haul:
(Photo above by Angel)
I was seriously not expecting to get so much stuff! We definitely won't be short of anything - thank you so, so much to everyone who came and for all the gifts you brought!
It's getting pretty late again and I have another long day ahead of me tomorrow, so I'd best be going again.
Just before I do, though, I'd like to say Happy 7th Anniversary to my hubby one last time. Thank you for being you - there's no-one else I would rather be doing all this with!
My mom and gran made a LOT of food, all of which was delicious, and we hired a jumping castle for all the kids and most of the people who'd said they were going to be there were there.
I got spoiled rotten with baby gifts and even a few belated birthday gifts thrown in for good measure! :-)
Angel and Glugster were among the guests at the shower, as were Laura and @Flavid and Laura's kidlets, who seemed to have a good time...
Angel spoiled me with a box of her fabulous cupcakes, which I was rather reluctant to share! But I ended up handing out a few toward the end of the evening as it dawned on me that I could probably not eat the entire box by myself without suffering some serious consequences later....
Take a look at these babies and tell me you don't want to lick your computer screen!!
I also got this awesome gift from a group of online friends - what a wonderful surprise! Thank you, Angel, Sally-Jane, Laura and Wenchy! You guys seriously rock!
And here's a shot or two of the full haul:
(Photo above by Angel)
I was seriously not expecting to get so much stuff! We definitely won't be short of anything - thank you so, so much to everyone who came and for all the gifts you brought!
It's getting pretty late again and I have another long day ahead of me tomorrow, so I'd best be going again.
Just before I do, though, I'd like to say Happy 7th Anniversary to my hubby one last time. Thank you for being you - there's no-one else I would rather be doing all this with!
Friday, February 05, 2010
Friend or Foe?
I read and responded to this article by Sally of Female2Female the other day. Sally found that some people's responses were particularly and unnecessarily nasty and I have to say that, for a moment, I was equally surprised at the venom coming from some of those women.
A number of people commented on the latter of these posts, saying that these women's negative comments are symptoms of their own insecurities, fear and guilt. And I agree. But I also believe that there is another, even more sinister dimension to this phenomenon that is propelled by the measure of anonymity afforded people by the nature of web communication. People feel entitled to be particularly "brutally honest" because the likelihood that they will ever have to meet you face to face after having criticized and attacked you personally for your opinion(s) on a particular subject, are slim to none. My opinion of these people is that they are cowards and not worth taking to heart.
The saddest part of it all, though, is that this type of behaviour appears to be particularly prevalent among women and even young girls. And I believe that the meanness some women display has little to do with the parenting styles, dress sense or whatever other aspect of another woman's opinions, lifestyle or self they happen to be criticizing. Rather, the need or desire to break down and publicly humiliate or one-up other women stems from another, deeper issue: The way girl-children are brought up. Or rather, not brought up. I remember not having a great many girl friends as a child, mostly because I didn't like the way that they would base their opinions of me on whether I wore the right clothes or played with the right toys or how much I knew or didn't know about make-up and nail polish. I remember being the object of ridicule on many occasions because, more often than not, I didn't do any of those things the "right" way, if at all. And I remember seeing other little girls fighting amongst themselves about these things, or being really hurtful toward one another, with their mothers right there and not an eyebrow being raised about it.
And, before I removed my kids from the school they were attending and began homeschooling, I saw the same things happening in my daughter's Gr.1 class. I see it in the complex where we live, especially among the slightly older girls. Calling each other fat, writing mean little notes and leaving them in the park "So-and-so is a slut".... Little girls of 9, 10 years old who shouldn't know what a slut is! Who shouldn't even be thinking about body shape at this point in their lives! And where are these kids' mothers?
Sadly, the truth is that it is from their mothers and other female figures that many of these girls learn this behaviour and pick up the idea that it is okay to judge, to belittle and to ridicule others over such superficial and insignificant things. It is the mothers who fail to act when their daughters behave this way that perpetuate the hate and insecurity we feel among ourselves as women. It is because girls are actively encouraged to conform to whatever is considered fashionable and attractive and pushed in the media as "normal". Because they are taught to respond in kind to humiliation by their "friends", by older women in the home, by older girls at school, by the women portrayed as "strong" and "beautiful" in the various media... Because little girls are encouraged to grow up far too soon and because stinging sarcasm is not only not discouraged but considered "sharp", "cool", "funny", even.
When what our daughters need to be learning is self respect, integrity and the true definition of greatness.
A little girl who is taught to love and respect herself and to behave with integrity will grow up to be a woman who has the capacity for greatness and will never have need to diminish others in order to feel better about herself. When we begin focusing our attention on raising such women, instead of pointing fingers and becoming outraged by the audacity of other mothers who dare to oppose our own opinions; When we are less concerned with how old the other woman's breastfeeding child is than we are with how happy that mother and her child are; When our daughters are telling their best friends how glad they are to see their smiles every day, instead of comparing lunch boxes and clothing sizes, then we just might begin to break the cycle of perpetual viciousness.
"What is personal integrity?
Personal integrity is knowing what you know–
What you know is what you know–
And to have the courage to know and say what you have observed.
And that is integrity.
And there is no other integrity.
Of course we can talk about honor, truth, all these things,
These esoteric terms.
But I think they’d all be covered very well
If what we really observed was what we observed,
That we took care to observe what we were observing,
That we always observed to observe.
And not necessarily maintaining a skeptical attitude,
A critical attitude, or an open mind.
But certainly maintaining sufficient personal integrity
And sufficient personal belief and confidence in self
And courage that we can observe what we observe
And say what we have observed.
Nothing is true for you
Unless you have observed it
And it is true according to your observation.
That is all." - L. Ron Hubbard
"Happiness and strength endure only in the absence of hate. To hate alone is the road to disaster. To love is the road to strength. To love in spite of all is the secret of greatness. And may very well be the greatest secret in this universe." - L. Ron Hubbard
A number of people commented on the latter of these posts, saying that these women's negative comments are symptoms of their own insecurities, fear and guilt. And I agree. But I also believe that there is another, even more sinister dimension to this phenomenon that is propelled by the measure of anonymity afforded people by the nature of web communication. People feel entitled to be particularly "brutally honest" because the likelihood that they will ever have to meet you face to face after having criticized and attacked you personally for your opinion(s) on a particular subject, are slim to none. My opinion of these people is that they are cowards and not worth taking to heart.
The saddest part of it all, though, is that this type of behaviour appears to be particularly prevalent among women and even young girls. And I believe that the meanness some women display has little to do with the parenting styles, dress sense or whatever other aspect of another woman's opinions, lifestyle or self they happen to be criticizing. Rather, the need or desire to break down and publicly humiliate or one-up other women stems from another, deeper issue: The way girl-children are brought up. Or rather, not brought up. I remember not having a great many girl friends as a child, mostly because I didn't like the way that they would base their opinions of me on whether I wore the right clothes or played with the right toys or how much I knew or didn't know about make-up and nail polish. I remember being the object of ridicule on many occasions because, more often than not, I didn't do any of those things the "right" way, if at all. And I remember seeing other little girls fighting amongst themselves about these things, or being really hurtful toward one another, with their mothers right there and not an eyebrow being raised about it.
And, before I removed my kids from the school they were attending and began homeschooling, I saw the same things happening in my daughter's Gr.1 class. I see it in the complex where we live, especially among the slightly older girls. Calling each other fat, writing mean little notes and leaving them in the park "So-and-so is a slut".... Little girls of 9, 10 years old who shouldn't know what a slut is! Who shouldn't even be thinking about body shape at this point in their lives! And where are these kids' mothers?
Sadly, the truth is that it is from their mothers and other female figures that many of these girls learn this behaviour and pick up the idea that it is okay to judge, to belittle and to ridicule others over such superficial and insignificant things. It is the mothers who fail to act when their daughters behave this way that perpetuate the hate and insecurity we feel among ourselves as women. It is because girls are actively encouraged to conform to whatever is considered fashionable and attractive and pushed in the media as "normal". Because they are taught to respond in kind to humiliation by their "friends", by older women in the home, by older girls at school, by the women portrayed as "strong" and "beautiful" in the various media... Because little girls are encouraged to grow up far too soon and because stinging sarcasm is not only not discouraged but considered "sharp", "cool", "funny", even.
When what our daughters need to be learning is self respect, integrity and the true definition of greatness.
A little girl who is taught to love and respect herself and to behave with integrity will grow up to be a woman who has the capacity for greatness and will never have need to diminish others in order to feel better about herself. When we begin focusing our attention on raising such women, instead of pointing fingers and becoming outraged by the audacity of other mothers who dare to oppose our own opinions; When we are less concerned with how old the other woman's breastfeeding child is than we are with how happy that mother and her child are; When our daughters are telling their best friends how glad they are to see their smiles every day, instead of comparing lunch boxes and clothing sizes, then we just might begin to break the cycle of perpetual viciousness.
"What is personal integrity?
Personal integrity is knowing what you know–
What you know is what you know–
And to have the courage to know and say what you have observed.
And that is integrity.
And there is no other integrity.
Of course we can talk about honor, truth, all these things,
These esoteric terms.
But I think they’d all be covered very well
If what we really observed was what we observed,
That we took care to observe what we were observing,
That we always observed to observe.
And not necessarily maintaining a skeptical attitude,
A critical attitude, or an open mind.
But certainly maintaining sufficient personal integrity
And sufficient personal belief and confidence in self
And courage that we can observe what we observe
And say what we have observed.
Nothing is true for you
Unless you have observed it
And it is true according to your observation.
That is all." - L. Ron Hubbard
"Happiness and strength endure only in the absence of hate. To hate alone is the road to disaster. To love is the road to strength. To love in spite of all is the secret of greatness. And may very well be the greatest secret in this universe." - L. Ron Hubbard
Thursday, February 04, 2010
BlackBerry Bold 9000 Smartphone up for Grabs!!
If you pop over to Angel's blog, you'll see that I would have LOVED to win myself one of these babies! But since I can't, I'll just have to make do with possibly helping someone else win one. Here's how:
In keeping with the current Hollywood trend of slightly unusual boyfriends- you know the vampires, shapeshifters and werewolves- you are hereby invited to talk about yours!
So is your boyfriend a little peculiar?
Does he have some tastes that make you squint in consternation?
Is he perhaps a little left of centre?
Well, all you have to do is leave a comment on this post and list the 5 strangest things your boyfriend has done- or does, and you could stand a chance of winning a Blackberry Bold 9000 Smartphone. Ts & Cs apply, and you have to be in South Africa!
Chrizanda from DSTV & Vuzu - where you can watch “The Vampire Diaries“- will then trawl the blogosphere using the links emailed to her, and choose her three favourite entries. They will get uploaded to Vuzu’s website and the public will then vote for their favourite entry!
If yours is the one picked by the public- the Blackberry Bold 9000 is yours!
What are you waiting for? Start spilling your guts, girls!!!
Tuesday, February 02, 2010
All Things Baby
At the risk of being super boring and stuff, today's post is about baby stuff. Because today has been a day of complete and unadulterated baby frenzy! With some new curtains thrown in, just for the hell of it! ;-P
I woke up this morning with BabyParkinsNumber4 doing a number on my ribcage, my bladder, my stomach and pretty much all of the rest of my internal organs situated anywhere within reach of my ever-expanding uterus.
Shortly thereafter, I got an sms from my friend, acidicice, followed shortly thereafter by a phone call. I knew as soon as we spoke that she was in labour and was instantly excited for her. Man, I wish I could have flown down to be there with her today!
Babyice was born just a little while ago and I could not be prouder of my friend. Those of you who read her blog will know that she'd been feeling nervous about the birth for a while, not sure whether she was going to be able to cope. But she did, like a champ and birthed herself a beautiful, beautiful baby boy.
Meanwhile, as acidicice laboured her way through the day, I had a visit with my midwife at 11 this morning, where it was determined that BabyParkinsNumber4 is doing well, as am I. Between us, the midwife and I are about 80% certain that he has turned head down, but I'm going to have to wait until I see my gynae for a final check-up and scan at 37 weeks in order to know for sure. We also discussed what I was going to do in terms of the birth. And until this afternoon, I was pretty sure I'd figured it out. I even booked my "bed" at the Stork's Nest right after my appointment with the midwife this morning, and was going to pay my hospital deposit via EFT this evening. But then I got a call this afternoon from a midwife I'd left a message for last week, who said that she would be happy to assist me in having a home birth. So now we're back to the Q&A.
Because, although we have worked out how we can pay to birth BabyParkinsNumber4 at the Femina Stork's Nest, it would still be a *huge* help not to have to fork out quite so much money. Especially since there have been some new developments on the job front for David, which I won't go into right now. David, of course, wants me to do whatever I really *want* to do, and is happy to go with whatever I decide. But as anyone who's ever been pregnant will tell you, pregnant chicks and choices/decisions do not go well together. Fuck, I can barely decide whether I feel like wearing the dark blue jeans with the white top or the lighter jeans with a black top!
To be totally honest, I feel like I'd be disloyal to change my plans now, having pretty much told the midwife I've been seeing all along that I'll be birthing at her ABU again... And I know, rationally, that I can't base my decision on the possibility that someone is going to be offended by my choice. But then, I'm 34 fucking weeks pregnant, hello? How rational exactly do you expect me to be?
So I'm going to sleep on it tonight and see how I feel tomorrow. Taking into account all the information, I think it may be decided on a technicality: Birthing at the Stork's Nest as planned means that I already have an excellent obstetrician on standby, who happens to consult for the reasonably well-reputed state facility less than a kilometre away from the ABU, so there's no worrying about Plan B should the need arise.
Birthing at home, however, there would be a significantly longer distance to take into consideration if anything goes wrong, on top of which we have yet to determine whether the particular obstetrician who would most likely serve as back-up for us (also a man with an excellent reputation), would a) be prepared to back me up and b) be prepared and able to refer me to an acceptable state facility. Essentially, it comes down to whether or not there is an acceptable Plan B in place, I guess.
Oh, and I may or may not have mentioned that I got a voucher for a free Laser Facial from Dis-Chem for my birthday recently? Well, I'd booked that appointment for this afternoon, when I got back from seeing the midwife. I was told upon arrival at the salon that I would unfortunately not be having a Laser Facial, because I'm pregnant. So I ended up having a normal facial instead, followed by a facial massage. Truthfully, I was kind of glad. It was heavenly and I felt so relaxed afterwards. I'll most definitely be going back - and not necessarily for a laser treatment.
Next up on the agenda is my baby shower, which is happening this weekend. I've organized it myself, since I think it's a bit unrealistic to expect anyone else to do it, considering this is my *fourth* baby. Surprisingly, I think there are more people coming to this shower than there were at any of my previous ones, though. I think that this is largely because I have decided not to go the traditional, women-only route, but have invited spouses and children as well. I just really don't feel like sitting around swapping birth horror stories again, and would also really like to celebrate my last baby with as many of my friends as possible. So we're having an evening picnic type thing here in the park in our complex, next to my house.
Quite a few people have asked me if I have a wishlist, to which I've generally replied that I don't really. Mostly because we have the essential items more or less covered and I feel kind of awkward asking people for stuff. But there are a few things we haven't managed to sort out yet, so if any of you are on the guest list, here's what we could really do with:
*Nappies. Now, this is a tricky one, because I have decided to go the nature nappy route this time around, for a number of reasons, not the least of which is the long-term cost efficiency. My research has led me to believe that the Mother Nature nappies are the best bet, and I'm looking at getting the Mother Nature Full Nappy Pack - Option 2. If you've just followed that link, you will have noticed that it's not cheap. At least, not initially. So I wouldn't dream of asking anyone to buy me the whole thing. But any contributions toward it would be most welcome!
*Toiletries. The little things you use all the time and run out of often. I'm a fan of Johnson & Johnson's Baby Bedtime Bath, Fissan bum cream, Johnson's Baby Skincare Wipes (unscented), you get the idea....
*Blankies/Hooded towels. BabyParkinsNumber4 does not yet own a single blankie or hooded towel of his very own, so a couple of these would be great!
Otherwise, we're pretty much sorted, I guess. I've been given a *lot* of clothes for the first couple of months. It's not new stuff, but it's all in very good condition and has been washed with an obsessive vigour by my mom, so I'm not worried about cooties! ;-P
And there you have it. I've got babies on the brain (duh!). Something else I have on the brain is Bed, which is where I am going right now - work starts at 6:30 tomorrow morning. Luckily, getting there on time does not require showering, getting dressed or even getting out of bed...
So, so long, good night and Congratulations to Heather and Rudi on the birth of their GORGEOUS baby boy!
PS - David and I bought some curtains for the downstairs part of our house today. This purchase was long overdue and I am thrilled with what we got! :-)
I woke up this morning with BabyParkinsNumber4 doing a number on my ribcage, my bladder, my stomach and pretty much all of the rest of my internal organs situated anywhere within reach of my ever-expanding uterus.
Shortly thereafter, I got an sms from my friend, acidicice, followed shortly thereafter by a phone call. I knew as soon as we spoke that she was in labour and was instantly excited for her. Man, I wish I could have flown down to be there with her today!
Babyice was born just a little while ago and I could not be prouder of my friend. Those of you who read her blog will know that she'd been feeling nervous about the birth for a while, not sure whether she was going to be able to cope. But she did, like a champ and birthed herself a beautiful, beautiful baby boy.
Meanwhile, as acidicice laboured her way through the day, I had a visit with my midwife at 11 this morning, where it was determined that BabyParkinsNumber4 is doing well, as am I. Between us, the midwife and I are about 80% certain that he has turned head down, but I'm going to have to wait until I see my gynae for a final check-up and scan at 37 weeks in order to know for sure. We also discussed what I was going to do in terms of the birth. And until this afternoon, I was pretty sure I'd figured it out. I even booked my "bed" at the Stork's Nest right after my appointment with the midwife this morning, and was going to pay my hospital deposit via EFT this evening. But then I got a call this afternoon from a midwife I'd left a message for last week, who said that she would be happy to assist me in having a home birth. So now we're back to the Q&A.
Because, although we have worked out how we can pay to birth BabyParkinsNumber4 at the Femina Stork's Nest, it would still be a *huge* help not to have to fork out quite so much money. Especially since there have been some new developments on the job front for David, which I won't go into right now. David, of course, wants me to do whatever I really *want* to do, and is happy to go with whatever I decide. But as anyone who's ever been pregnant will tell you, pregnant chicks and choices/decisions do not go well together. Fuck, I can barely decide whether I feel like wearing the dark blue jeans with the white top or the lighter jeans with a black top!
To be totally honest, I feel like I'd be disloyal to change my plans now, having pretty much told the midwife I've been seeing all along that I'll be birthing at her ABU again... And I know, rationally, that I can't base my decision on the possibility that someone is going to be offended by my choice. But then, I'm 34 fucking weeks pregnant, hello? How rational exactly do you expect me to be?
So I'm going to sleep on it tonight and see how I feel tomorrow. Taking into account all the information, I think it may be decided on a technicality: Birthing at the Stork's Nest as planned means that I already have an excellent obstetrician on standby, who happens to consult for the reasonably well-reputed state facility less than a kilometre away from the ABU, so there's no worrying about Plan B should the need arise.
Birthing at home, however, there would be a significantly longer distance to take into consideration if anything goes wrong, on top of which we have yet to determine whether the particular obstetrician who would most likely serve as back-up for us (also a man with an excellent reputation), would a) be prepared to back me up and b) be prepared and able to refer me to an acceptable state facility. Essentially, it comes down to whether or not there is an acceptable Plan B in place, I guess.
Oh, and I may or may not have mentioned that I got a voucher for a free Laser Facial from Dis-Chem for my birthday recently? Well, I'd booked that appointment for this afternoon, when I got back from seeing the midwife. I was told upon arrival at the salon that I would unfortunately not be having a Laser Facial, because I'm pregnant. So I ended up having a normal facial instead, followed by a facial massage. Truthfully, I was kind of glad. It was heavenly and I felt so relaxed afterwards. I'll most definitely be going back - and not necessarily for a laser treatment.
Next up on the agenda is my baby shower, which is happening this weekend. I've organized it myself, since I think it's a bit unrealistic to expect anyone else to do it, considering this is my *fourth* baby. Surprisingly, I think there are more people coming to this shower than there were at any of my previous ones, though. I think that this is largely because I have decided not to go the traditional, women-only route, but have invited spouses and children as well. I just really don't feel like sitting around swapping birth horror stories again, and would also really like to celebrate my last baby with as many of my friends as possible. So we're having an evening picnic type thing here in the park in our complex, next to my house.
Quite a few people have asked me if I have a wishlist, to which I've generally replied that I don't really. Mostly because we have the essential items more or less covered and I feel kind of awkward asking people for stuff. But there are a few things we haven't managed to sort out yet, so if any of you are on the guest list, here's what we could really do with:
*Nappies. Now, this is a tricky one, because I have decided to go the nature nappy route this time around, for a number of reasons, not the least of which is the long-term cost efficiency. My research has led me to believe that the Mother Nature nappies are the best bet, and I'm looking at getting the Mother Nature Full Nappy Pack - Option 2. If you've just followed that link, you will have noticed that it's not cheap. At least, not initially. So I wouldn't dream of asking anyone to buy me the whole thing. But any contributions toward it would be most welcome!
*Toiletries. The little things you use all the time and run out of often. I'm a fan of Johnson & Johnson's Baby Bedtime Bath, Fissan bum cream, Johnson's Baby Skincare Wipes (unscented), you get the idea....
*Blankies/Hooded towels. BabyParkinsNumber4 does not yet own a single blankie or hooded towel of his very own, so a couple of these would be great!
Otherwise, we're pretty much sorted, I guess. I've been given a *lot* of clothes for the first couple of months. It's not new stuff, but it's all in very good condition and has been washed with an obsessive vigour by my mom, so I'm not worried about cooties! ;-P
And there you have it. I've got babies on the brain (duh!). Something else I have on the brain is Bed, which is where I am going right now - work starts at 6:30 tomorrow morning. Luckily, getting there on time does not require showering, getting dressed or even getting out of bed...
So, so long, good night and Congratulations to Heather and Rudi on the birth of their GORGEOUS baby boy!
PS - David and I bought some curtains for the downstairs part of our house today. This purchase was long overdue and I am thrilled with what we got! :-)
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