And, according to my gynae, I'm having a boy. I haven't decided on a name yet. Okay I have, but I'm not telling anyone what is is anymore, because it pisses me off when everyone has their two cents to add on the subject. You want to choose a baby name? Have your own baby.
I've spent the last four months thinking about a lot of stuff and have come to the realisation that thinking about all of this stuff isn't really very helpful. The things that were worrying and pissing me off four months ago are still worrying me and pissing me off. Mostly it's my job and the fact that my needing the income means I've got to live with having a boss and having to conform to said boss's idea of what constitutes "acceptable" conduct on my part. Pretty much the same as pretty much everyone else out there. I just seem to have a greater capacity for hating it.
On a happier note, I have to admit that I'm rather looking forward to the new baby and all the new baby things. And, at the moment, I'm shallow enough to have no problem admitting that a large part of the looking forward is the looking forward to buying stuff. New stuff. New, unused, clean and unspoiled stuff that I get to stash away over the next three months and unpack onto my bed every so often in anticipation of using each item for the very first time when the little guy makes his appearance at last. And the great lesson learned here is that I am, in fact, a closet shopaholic, despite all appearances to the contrary.
Other developments on the horizon include a possible move to Johannesburg at the end of the year. We plan to put in an offer on a gorgeous little fixer-upper in Kensington this week. Assuming that our offer is accepted, I'll be diving straight into a massive revamping project that could potentially be the very stepping stone I need out of the world where the boss is king and toward greater sanity and financial freedom.
Slowly, slowly, I'm reaching that place where forgiving myself for the fuck-ups of the last couple of years is possible and taking that leap into the exciting unknown seems less daunting...